I am an amateur, a dabbler, a passionate hobbyist when it comes to music. But music is an essential part of who I’ve become since the beginnings of my fascination with what might be termed “new classical” music back around the age of 10 or so (more on that in a later essay).

I am a listener above all and my shy, introspective personality initially led to a lot of alone time. I’m not saying, “loneliness”. Quite the contrary, I enjoyed it a great deal. After school I spent many a blissful evening amongst my books, records and tapes. And my radio, tuned to one (of three at the time) classical radio stations in my native Chicago.

WEFM, WNIB, and WFMT were my gateway into the world of classical music old and new. For whatever reason I didn’t like pop/top 40 music (though I’ve since widened my range of listening), a fact which severely narrowed my circle of peers and led me to develop my own world as I struggled the ardent but necessary developmental task of defining my identity (still struggling with that).

Fortunately these radio stations had a lot of genuinely talented program hosts and producers. These people were my teachers and my friends. Their adulation of classical music validated me and inspired me to emulate them to some extent which in turn led me to do a lot of reading. I felt cool (i.e. validated). So my appreciation of the significance of rock, blues, etc would have to wait until my college days but I tolerated pop stuff when socializing with my peers at the time, none of whom liked classical music.

As my interests developed, classical music became a solidly a treasured aspect of my personality. It remains a passion that gives me great joy (while it drains my budget). As basically a non-musician, a “fan” I began to attend more concerts, buy more recordings, and engage in fanboy/fangirl discussions and debates, even autograph collecting, my peer group expanded as I met people in college classes who shared my esoteric, non-pop interests.

At this point I want to tell you that I’ve come to suspect that, at their best, fans are essentially secular worshippers, deriving something like religious ecstasy as they seek to spend more time, in closer proximity to their chosen deities. That’s what the best performances of music are (other arts too, but that’s another essay), and, ecstatic experiences are addictive.

All this to say that the phenomena of being starstruck, I believe, is one of encountering musical artists in a deeply felt manner that impairs one’s ability to experience our favorite stars as mere humans. That, hopefully, comes later. But the experience of actually meeting your stars is much akin to children encountering their stars at Disneyland or Santa at the local shopping mall where, one can see the stunned look and disbelieving stare as they drink in the experience.

Sometimes the experience of humanness in one’s “gods” is off putting, at least at first. But getting to know a favorite artist as a human being allows one to get a perspective, to see them more as they are and not just as their latest work or even their body of work. Learning about the person, including their foibles and even failures is valuable. Whether you experience this via personal contact or via autobiographical and biographical writings it is an important perspective which enhances the listener’s appreciation.

The blogging is my way of acknowledging the joy that my favorite artists give me. It’s also a way of sharing a personal perspective for similarly inclined listeners who may share some of what I feel.

Time to fire up my CD player. Another worship service is at hand.

Comments welcome.