SmileDirectClub, the “orthodontics disruptor” that popularised clear, affordable teeth aligners by mail order, went bust last autumn and I wondered whether the world was falling out of love with designer braces. My interest was more than professional: at the time, I was gearing up to get my own upper and lower braces fitted and, unlike every other adult I knew, I’d decided against invisible aligners in favour of the metal train tracks I’d scarcely seen since school.

I should say that I tried Invisalign many years ago and was an undeniably bad patient. Exasperated at the hokey-cokey of removing the aligners before every cuppa, I lasted only a month. I felt that the success of such an expensive treatment should ideally be in the hands of experts, not dependent on my own diligence and willpower. Whenever anyone I knew saw another three months added casually on to their treatment timeline, they were told (rightly, no doubt) that it was their own fault for not wearing the aligners for the requisite 22 hours a day. So when I visited Edward and Tanya at The ABC Smile in London, about making over my crooked, chipped and moving teeth, and they were adamant that (marginally cheaper) fixed braces with modern white ceramic blocks and bands would be a faster, better and more predictable first step than aligners, I felt oddly relieved.

The drawbacks are inescapable: food gets stuck between wires to the extent that one can simply no longer be bothered to snack. When public eating is unavoidable, so is a dash to the loo with an interdental brush or toothpick. Anything with turmeric dyes elastic bands yellow, so I indulged my constant craving for curry only on the eve of my monthly appointments.

My lips looked comically inflated from being projected forward by the blocks and were persistently chapped. I smiled less.

But one can put up with minor inconveniences for four months. My treatment time – it varies wildly from person to person – was astonishingly fast. My teeth were visibly straightening within days. My cheekbones are now more prominent, my smile is perfectly aligned and noticeably wider. Regular adjustments were included in the braces fee (I paid full price) and only once was I left so uncomfortable that I ate mash for three days. So while there’s nothing wrong with modern aligners, if you think they’re the only option I’m here to set you straight.